Afraid/Excited

I had accepted the fact that you were leaving. Grown comfortable that you'd no longer be around. I saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with you through, skype and letters, little messages sent to Tucson... and eventually a visit. Now that you are staying I am so afraid... Afraid I will not be able to stand knowing that we can not spend time together cause its too much stress on you. Afraid of missing you more than I already do. Afraid that I may drive myself insane with an emotion I am not used to feeling. On the other hand I am so excited that you are staying until September and think its amazing that you will be around that much longer. Everyone that would have missed you will get an extra dose of your wonderful cure-all personality. Excited that I will be able to see the sunshine of your smile and the sweet purity of your eyes once again. Excited that maybe this distance will pass before you are gone to big and better things.

I am also afraid for you... I know how much you needed to escape the confines of Colorado. Hopefully that feeling has changed. Afraid that you may fall into a pattern of 'where am I going, when am I going.' Afraid that you will have to deal with my craziness and not be able to stand me anymore. But then again I am so excited to see how you spend the rest of your time in Colorado. Excited that you will have more time to sort out the things on your heart and your mind before saying goodbye to this beautiful state. Excited that you will enjoy the likes of Water World and Boondocks for that much longer, not to mention all the climbing time you will have. Excited to see where Colorado takes you before you have a date with a new state.