Early Bed Blues

Last night friends came over for video games and dessert! It was a blast, but I had to go to bed early due to work early this morning... Just that two or three hours I missed spending with my dearest friend made me miss her so so much. She is reentering the world of dating, and she is a serious catch, an amazing woman, and I know that she won't be single for long. Its a good chance I won't get as many opportunities to be around her and no opportunities to tell her how much a still love her. Was it possible for me to do more, to make her want and need me more? If so it is too late now and I need to accept it.

The other instigator of me missing her immensely is my date on Saturday. This girl that is coming to visit is a real sweetheart. She is gorgeous and silly both very good qualities, but she isn't the one and I already know it. I can honestly say I wish this date was with someone else someone much more important to me. This, I think, is what makes me miss her the most... She is also going on a date Saturday, with a guy I've met. He is a great guy, though I hardly know him. Is it wrong that I secretly wish both of our dates go horribly? Its not because I am jealous. I just think it would reinforce the closeness that I feel is slipping. I don't think I will ever not love her, but thats the way I want it.